Online dating sucks, or maybe I'm not good at it or I'm going about it the wrong way.
" I don't know if I'm not interesting, I'm ugly, or some of the women on there are just as picky to choosing a male partner as I am towards females because I have very little luck" - Me, in my very first post on this site
You see, here's the thing about online dating, I (you) know what I (you) want and what I'm (you're) looking for. I've (You've) got it all mapped out, down to the very core of my (your) future significant others very existence. I like women who are shorter than I am (I'm 5'7) nice smile, no gaps, or a very small one, nice lips, nice hips, I'm a butt man so..yea. Nice ass, with class, and swag. I prefer her real hair over weave but it doesn't matter as long as she's not limiting herself because of her (store bought) hair not being done. Funny, freaky, will initiate without the ability to hesitate, smart and entertaining without the drama, can have a private life without the help of her momma, educated, and will enjoy a recreational smoke with me every now and again. There's tons of other stuff that I could list, but you see how this is going. There is no way I'm going to find that online, by reading their about me and analyzing their pictures like a detective trying to solve a murder, searching for the smallest of details for me to go, "she's cute, but why all of her pictures face this one direction? Nah it won't work, oooh she's cute (click)" and I'm on to the next profile. I'm willing to bet that it's the same with my profiles as well; " why are all of his pictures just him by himself, where are his friends? he dresses nice, but his nose is big, he looks boring."
The messages that I get from women that initiate contact are mostly from women that I'm not attracted to and the messages all look like this: "Hello" or "Hi." I never know how to respond, so if they send 'Hi' I send 'Hello' and if they send 'Hello' I send 'Hi.' Some of them I skip, because it doesn't look like they put forth any time or effort into a real message and I know that if I sent a message like that, it wouldn't warrant a response.
When I initially started writing this post, there was a woman that messaged me on one of the sites. She made mention of me being handsome and about her being out of my age range for what I'm looking for. She didn't have a picture when she sent the message, but quickly put one up afterwards when I responded. So I stopped writing the post because I thought my views were going to be swayed just a bit, but it was a false alarm. So now here I am continuing where I left off on my views of why online dating sucks. Here's another point, there's someone on one of the sites that I was introduced to in real life, but the timing was off because we were at a bar and I was trying to make sure my little cousin and her boyfriend were enjoying themselves. So I get on the site and I'm browsing my matches and she comes up. So I send a message saying, we just met and I wanna get to know her and no response. I know she saw it because the site told me she visited my profile and she never replied.
Anywho, that's my take on online dating. The next thing for me to do is to either A) try Tinder or B) get back to attempting to meet people in real life, offline. We'll see what happens in the new year.
As always,
Thanks for reading.
-Wes Beez
Or maybe I'm not attractive, I don't know. But I've had very little luck between the 5 sites that I'm on. (Blackpeoplemeet, Zoosk, POF, OkCupid, & Match.com) On each of my profiles on these sites, I made sure I expressed the things that I'm interested in, what I do for a living and in my spare time, picked the proper photos, and gave just enough information about myself to start a conversation. When sending messages, I made sure to incorporate things from the person's profile I was viewing. If they shared similar interests, I would put that in the message, compliment them on their appearance; eyes, lips, height, or something they wore in a picture. Other times, I would simply send a message like "You're beautiful" or "I really like your eyes." You know... something simple, but none of that works/worked. I would send messages to women I thought I would actually have a "chance" with and others I knew probably wouldn't look my way if I walked past them with money literally falling out of my pockets. I know I'm not ugly, at least I don't think I am at times, I wear clothes that fit, nothing in my profiles is reckless (middle finger pointing, club/bar hopping, being flashy) my life isn't like that and never has been. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, if anything.